The Titanic and Me

Hello, I want to tell you my story of the Titanic. I had my innocence taken from me at the age of 6. That was also about the time I discovered educational television. My parents were on the verge of divorce and I already learned the great escape that TV offered. I spent hours watching cartoons. In first grade I was molested on my schools playground. I was called a liar by everyone except my parents. Sadly they could not stop want unfolded at school over the following few years. After school I would come home and plant my butt on the couch and turn on the discovery or history channel (back when they were good). I would tune out my parents arguing and try to learn something. Every once in awhile some documentary would come on about the Titanic. I found it fascinating.  After about 2 years (my parents tried to keep me at the same school) I was expelled. Looking back I see that they tried everything they could, but at that point in their lives were unable to protect me. But they always loved me. At this new school things just got worse. The worse things got the more I looked to the history channel to escape my reality for some past reality. By now Titanic was everywhere with the opening of the movie in theaters. I watched everything I could about it. These poor people on the titanic had no idea of what laid in store for them. My mom took me to see the movie in theaters; I was too young to see it by myself. Watching this silly melodrama wrapped in some facts just made me fall in love with this ship. It also made me jealous. The people on board this unsinkable ship had no idea what was in store for them. They didn't even know when it was happening.  But everyday when I went to school I knew I would be hurt. I knew I would be bullied and assaulted.  I knew to much to ever go back. When it came on VHS I would watch it over and over, often with my little sweet sister Jenifer. This stupid movie gave me so much courage. I wanted  to be like Rose.  Something (Jack) was taken from her and she kept on living. I have watched this movie a thousand times, but every time it feels like a new movie.  Because every time I watch it I am going through some other challenge.  It reminds me that no matter the odds I can survive. I know all of you are thinking I am putting to much value on this movie. And you might be right. But tonight when I sit in the theater  and watch the opening scene where Rose looks up to the great Titanic and Jack wins his ticket in a card game I will be able to run away from myself for and hour. When the ship hits the iceberg I will be shaken and reminded of my current struggle. And when Rose hides herself on the rescue ship I will be reminded I can over come my problems. It is a silly movie that means so very much to me. At times it was my only friend.